So Full of Fail

Sometimes you find something so FULL OF FAIL, it’s hard to even know where to start. All I can really do is give you all a link, so that you can check it out yourselves. Meanwhile, I’m going to share my thoughts, so please, stick around before you go look, or look and then come back.

Here’s a link to the offending page, you can find it here.

Page is Called “Witchcraft Love Spells”

So, right off the bat, if you’re someone who’s going to go looking for love spells, you’ve obviously wandered across my blog by mistake, it’s safe to say I’m going to offend you, go ahead and wander away.

In the opening to the page, this catches my eye, “Came here first, I see. No? Okay, fair enough, everyone needs love, but unless you happen to be the only son of Lily and James Potter (which makes you a fictional character) you may not be able to pull off a full fledged love spell right off the bat—few can. But here you will find some simple white magic love spells you will be able to perform with a minimum of fuss, and all free.”

LMFAO! Yeah… Already, I’m getting the fucking heeby jeebies from being on this page, but see, that’s because I’m fucktard intolerant.

A Wiccan Witch is GOOD

This statement right here, well it induces peals of laughter. See, it’s a blanket statement. Most, if not ALL Wiccans, are people right? There are good people, there are not so good people, there are down right fucktarded assclown people. It doesn’t matter what flavor they are, they’re people.

Now, the person who wrote the site starts off in the intro by saying that love spells shouldn’t be directed at someone in particular. The reasoning they give is fluffy as hell, but I’ll let you read that for yourself. Now, the first spell listed,

Love Spell of Desire : Bewitch (Man’s Full Name Here)

… Wait… didn’t she say up there that we weren’t supposed to be attaching these to a particular person? Right out of the gate, the page creator is contradicting themselves.

Ok, moving along…

Spell to have the kind of love you favor: Draw a Pentagram in the bowl with a marker. Ideally your own lipstick of or that of your intended. Note: if you are attracting a woman and want her lipstick for the spell, do not steal it. Ask her what color she wears. Just say something like, “Your lipstick is a pretty color. What’s it called?” If she won’t tell you, you can still try the spell with a marker or take a guess but that’s a bad omen. 

Ummm… How the fuck is that a bad omen? Someone please explain that one to me, cause I’m having trouble figuring that one out.

A poppet is like a little voodoo doll. Interestingly enough, Voodoo learned poppets from Celtic magyc, not the other way around


For starters, Celtic Magyc to me, I think sounds like the equivalent of a ‘Pagan’ flavored kitchen appliance, like….. Maytag. Also, Fuck, we’ve all been doing it wrong, the Celts invented poppets! There’s that Celtic Vodou tie that people have been trying to tell me exists…

the word gypsy is a shortening of the word Egypt, where the gypsies were said to be from as far north as the British Isles.

Really? Fuck! LMAO… Wow, see the things you learn on the internet. I could say things about using the word or term ‘Gypsy’ but, I’m going to leave that alone, I think I’ve addressed it before, if I haven’t, I’m sure someone else has.

Now, there is SO MUCH more FAIL on this site, but I want to draw your attention to the Vodou  Spell.  Look for the phallic shaped candle.  Now, I can tell that when they created this page, the subject was making them uncomfortable, so, why include it? Especially on a page of ‘Good, Wiccan White Magic’?

Oh well.

Anyway, really apparently the creator of this site believes that this spell can only be used by women. I’ll make sure that all the boy type people know and understand that. It is a fairly ignorant approach on that one, but really, I didn’t expect an enlightened one. Look at the rest of the site for fucks sake. It’s all Bad. 110% of wondertard, wrapped up in a pretty, easy on the eye package.

So, thank you all for coming on this journey with me. I’ll leave you to peruse the rest of the site at your leisure, just remember not to be drinking any liquids while doing so, you might drown your keyboard.

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