Trolling the chat rooms

A few months ago we were thinking about installing a chat room on the site. We’ve used chat-n-go for years, but it was causing people’s browsers to crash, so it had to be taken off the site. Blackbird, one of our site members was helping me check out a few options. What follows is the chat that took place in the chat room.

You are now talking on #web

LadyAnastasia: ย doom doom doom doom doom
BlackBird_510: hey there
LadyAnastasia: hi hi
BlackBird_510: see, this is a really old platform…even around when AOL chats were…
BlackBird_510: a friend of mine used to go to the IRC groups, but…
BlackBird_510: as you can see, lots of people “on”, but no one’s on…
BlackBird_510:not sure how you place it in a page like this
LadyAnastasia: lol
LadyAnastasia: this doesnt’ look like a bad chat type thingy
BlackBird_510: no, it’s pretty simply
BlackBird_510: *simple

Enter random guy that we didn’t know was in the room.

raneman: Hello
LadyAnastasia: hi hi
raneman: whats the subject?
raneman: no talkers i see

Noticing the handle he was using, I couldn’t stop myself from being a lil bit of a smartass.

LadyAnastasia: KMart
raneman: ok
raneman: what about that store
raneman: walmart is much better i think
BlackBird_510: ha ha…
BlackBird_510: kmart is a character on the new resident evil
LadyAnastasia: I get my boxer shorts at Kmart in cincinatti
BlackBird_510: which I finally watched yesterday after it sitting on my dvd player for a month
raneman: ok so iam a dummy
BlackBird_510: no, we’re actually just checking out the chat…
BlackBird_510: and noticed no one talking
raneman: ok cool
BlackBird_510: you a witch, rane?
raneman: boo

Feeling kinda bad, I explain the KMart thing. Also, wasn’t sure at this point if BB had caught on to what I was talking about.

LadyAnastasia: lmfao… Oko… Rane man sounds a lot like Rain Man
raneman: sssshhhhhhhhhhh
LadyAnastasia: big part of the movie is about going to Kmart
BlackBird_510: that’s true
raneman: hidesd from the casinos
raneman: true
raneman: he always shop at lmart
raneman: boxers
LadyAnastasia: exactly
raneman: so we all saw the movie
LadyAnastasia: lol… I’m sorry, I couldnt’ resist making the Kmart comment
raneman: lots of queens
raneman: that was a good one
raneman: as to your other question
raneman: i did meet a nice person in here once
raneman: ask about wicca
LadyAnastasia: are these chats embeddable BB?

See, I’m still more interested in the Chat Room than in talking to a random stranger.
raneman: think his name was c j or j c
raneman: dont remember
BlackBird_510: i have no idea…wasn’t back in the day, but not I couldn’t tell you
BlackBird_510: looks like it though
raneman: but he was open n gonest
BlackBird_510: I found this same chat listed on another page
BlackBird_510: what would you like to ask about wicca rane?
raneman i never thought about it to tell truth
hugs is now known as Hugs_232 (New person in the room who’s going to lurk)

BlackBird_510: oh…lol…what that the person’t name?
BlackBird_510: *was that…
raneman> i think c. j.
raneman> or j. c.
raneman> dont remember
BlackBird_510: but his “handle” was “ask about wicca?”
BlackBird_510: screenname
BlackBird_510: wow, I just went retro with handle
raneman> i dont remember
BlackBird_510: *feels old*
raneman: but
raneman: it was a womans name
raneman: tyhat threw me
BlackBird_510: so what brings you to a witch room?
BlackBird_510: (this is a witch room right?)
BlackBird_510: *looks around confused*
LadyAnastasia: lmao
raneman: i just sign on to palchat brought me to this room
BlackBird_510: weird
raneman: yep
raneman: oooooo well
raneman: so are u a witch?
BlackBird_510: you could say that
raneman: k
BlackBird_510: I practice it every now and then…
raneman: so u r a man or woman witch??
BlackBird_510: I have tatas
LadyAnastasia: lol….
raneman: ok i think i understand lol
raneman: how about u lady?
BlackBird_510: you know, “save the tatas?”
raneman: u into this?
LadyAnastasia: Am I into what? Am I a witch? No, I wouldnt’ consider myself one, however I am a practicing pagan
BlackBird_510: *stares at lala*
raneman: remember some tatas are bigger then others lol
BlackBird_510: true…
LadyAnastasia: oh… are we going to talk about tata’s now?
BlackBird_510: lol…
raneman: i go into a room come to wicca room
raneman: wow
LadyAnastasia: lol
LadyAnastasia: I guess Pagan =wiccan equal the same thing
raneman: blushes n covers up
BlackBird_510: well, wiccans are pagans…
BlackBird_510: but to be cliche – not all pagans are wiccans
raneman: i must addmitt i know nothing about either
BlackBird_510: and not all witches are wiccan
raneman: ok
BlackBird_510: but someone would argue all wiccans are not witches
raneman: got that part
BlackBird_510: but they would be wrong ๐Ÿ™‚

shadow is now known as Shadow_93

LadyAnastasia: lol
raneman: so now iam more confused then when we started lol
BlackBird_510: ha ha…wiccans practice witchcraft, but they are not the only ones
raneman: best part was the tatas
Blackbird_510: wiccans are one religion that utilizes it
LadyAnastasia: lmao
BlackBird_510: and wiccan is one religion under the pagan umbrella
raneman: lady am i correct?
BlackBird_510: *wicca is
LadyAnastasia: it’s a big umbrella
raneman: ok
raneman: but its not raining lol
BlackBird_510: it was earlier
BlackBird_510: odd for arizona
raneman: snowing here now
LadyAnastasia: it was sunny today
raneman: east coast here
BlackBird_510: it’s always sunny here
Shadow_93: where is everyone from?
BlackBird_510: people rejoice for the rain here ๐Ÿ™‚
raneman: usa new jersey
Shadow_93: im from las vegas
BlackBird_510: wow – reverts back to the old days
BlackBird_510: and I like long walks on the beach
BlackBird_510: and single red roses
BlackBird_510: *rawr*
raneman: so blackbird were do u stand on border issues
raneman: so do i
BlackBird_510: as in the bookstore or mexico?
raneman: i go to shore a lot
raneman: have a 22 ft boat
raneman: a donzi

lol, it’s cute I think he was trying to impress us with his boat ownership.
LadyAnastasia: I don’t really care for the store
raneman: in mexico
LadyAnastasia: they usually don’t have what I want
BlackBird_510: i was a vulture today at one…it’s closing ๐Ÿ™‚
LadyAnastasia: oh?
raneman: good buys then
BlackBird_510: yup, a bunch are closing
BlackBird_510: right now they are only 20 to 40 off, but in a few days should go up
BlackBird_510: the new age section was ransacked
raneman: they do same around here
BlackBird_510: you would think all pagans are broke ot something
BlackBird_510: *or
raneman: up to 80 90 percent off
LadyAnastasia: lol
raneman: just say give me money
raneman: poof it appears
raneman: well dont think i will find any one to party with in here but you are very nice
BlackBird_510: thanks…guessing by party you mean cyber?
raneman: depends
BlackBird_510: I thought that died out in the 90s
raneman: clean chat
raneman: phone
BlackBird_510: wow…
BlackBird_510: well, have fun with that
raneman: see if if two people have same things in common
raneman: see where it leads
BlackBird_510: my husband and I already have the down ๐Ÿ™‚
BlackBird_510: *that
raneman: ok
raneman: wasnt hitting on you

(Yeah he was.)

LadyAnastasia: lol
raneman: i respect all
BlackBird_510: i didn’t think you were
BlackBird_510: just saying…
raneman: i understand
raneman: but as 4 lady lmao

Oh Great, now he’s hitting on me.
BlackBird_510: lady has a druid of her own ๐Ÿ™‚
raneman: poof
raneman: oo well
LadyAnastasia: yep
raneman: u 2 seem very nice
raneman: hope u find that room
LadyAnastasia: thank you
BlackBird_510: you haven’t talked to us long enough than ๐Ÿ˜‰
raneman: mayb i will join in
raneman: never know ladies
raneman: no blackbird
raneman: iam a good judge of people
raneman: honest is only way to go
BlackBird_510: thanks
raneman: so i say live n enjoy life
BlackBird_510: you too
raneman: and i belive iam older then either of you ladies
raneman: ty both 4 teaching me a little about that subject
BlackBird_510: hmmmm…dunno about that…but maybe

The chat doesn’t go on for much longer after that. I’d spent the whole time laughing so hard that there were tears in my eyes by this point. Raneman eventually wandered off, and Blackbird and I found another chat to look at. It wasn’t so much a story about the insanity of fluff, more about the randomness that is so random when you meet stranger in chat. Well…. that and the fact that if you talk to them for longer than 5 minutes, they’re trying to figure out a way to molester you over the computer.

Sometimes They Even Text You

This is an example of fuctarded fluffery in a non-pagan environment.
I use twitter, alot. So much so, that when I used to play on my desktop, if my digsby account had trouble accessing the twitter feed, I’d go a little nuts because I couldn’t see what was going on. Yes, I HAVE ISSUES.
Anyhow, a friend of mine had signed up for Twitter, and she was following me. When her phone got turned off, the phone number was given to some braindead retard, who couldn’t figure out how to remover herself from Twitter. This person would randomly respond via twitter, begging me to stop sending her messages. She was however internet savvy enough to find my blog, and leave a message.
please remove my # from your list 55_ _ _ _ _ iv been receving textsfrom thissite and i just got this # yesterday
id really apricate not getting any more messg. thank you

Naturally, I just had to respond…

Dear Anonymous User, You are receiving updates Via Twitter. I do not send updates directly to your phone. Perhaps you should be contacting twitter and not bawling on my blog.

Thank you, and have a nice day.

I still find the whole thing wildly hysterical, thinking back on it makes me giggle. Perhaps I’m a bit deranged?

This is Carp!

Since starting this blog, we share new posts to our FB pages and twitter accounts, so that all of our friends have a chance to read them. Some people laugh and comment, others take offence.

A lovely gentlemen who read one of our blogs has declared this blog to be Carp!

Cute, and Oh So Fnny! I only assume the poor guy meant to call it Crap but was so awestruck at the content, that he got so riled up as to make such an obvious mistake.

A mistake that I plan on capitalizing on. I think from now on, any time we are faced with a situation that we are unhappy with, that we shout at the top of our lungs, ‘This is Carp!’

I know, that’s what I plan on doing! This is being added to our vocabulary and lala-ism section.

The Blog Names that Almost Happened

When the decision to write this blog was made, a group of friends were asked if they had any suggestions for it’s possible name.

The list is far too hilarious, in my opinion, to keep secret, so I’ve decided to share it with all of you.

  • Memoirs of a Fluff Hunter
  • Friends of the Royal Order of the Fluff Bunnies
  • The Flufftard Apocalypse
  • The Fur Baiter Society
  • The Asshat Diaries
  • The Fluff, The Tard, and the Wardrobe
  • Legend of the Flufftard and the Knowledge Ninja
  • The Chronicles of Fluffdom
  • The Fluff Monologue
  • The Fluff, The Asshat, and The Queen
  • Fluff Monologues
  • Lala: The Fluff Slayer
  • Lab Notes: 101 Ways to Kill a Fluff
  • Fluffs, Tards and IRABs; A Tantrum
  • Fluffy Potter and the Missing Asshats
  • The Fluff Files
  • Fluffville
  • Unreal Estate; Fluffydom in the Real World
  • To Defluff an Asshat
  • Hot Lala’s Fluffy Files
  • Legend of the Half Blood Fluff
  • The Fluff Identity
  • The Fluffinator
  • Nutter’s House: Romancing the Bun-bun
  • Adventures in Fluffy Squishing
  • The Legend of the Fluff Killer
  • Just By a Hare: Deflowering Asshattery
  • Playgansim for Dummies
  • The 5,000 year old Wiccan and Other Stories
  • Fairy Tales for Grownups: How Lala Banished the Asshats
  • My So Called Fluff
  • The First Fluff
  • Realities and Rejects
  • The Good, The Bad, and The Asshats
  • LadyAnastasia and the Temple of Doom
  • The Good, The Fluff, and The Asshats
  • How to Train Your Fluffy
  • Superfluff
  • LadyAnastasia and the Last Crusade
  • It’s Called RESEARCH…Asshats
  • Encyclopedia Fluffytastica
  • A Lady’s Observations on Fluffology

So, that’s it. The blog could have been named one of those titles. Do you think we made the right choice? I hope that you got at least a giggle out of the list!

The ‘Batshit Crazy’ Fluff

I know that it’s hard to believe, but occasionally a topic can be going along so well, no arguments, no trolls, no flying insults, that someone inevitably snaps, I think because they aren’t really even sure of what’s going on.

Unprovoked attacks do happen, when they do, they leave the entire group sitting there, scratching their heads, trying to figure out, just what the fuck actually happened.

This incident happened not long ago, on June 5th.

A group of us were talking about Soul Retrieval; What is it? Why is it necessary? Can souls actually become fractured. All in all, a very interesting topic, and we thought we were having a pretty good time of it, considering all the differing beliefs on the topic, and no one was getting butthurt. That is, until Mrs M. showed up.

“Mrs M: @Pagan Number 1..What your talking about is Life…Not death ๐Ÿ™ .. I don’t care what university you went to or who taught you for that matter.. All the universites and all the study .The one thing is Common Sense.. and I don’t care if we are eastern or western..In the end ..What does it matter ??? The answer lies in death … @ Lala You may use the language but who understands it … .you have been taught by this one and that..Life is our teacher…. god damn it you have really pissed me off bitch ….. And the one thing you need to learn that canno’t be taught is common sense..and that has nothing to do with religion.. and something that you dont have … Just sayin … god damned it ….You watch someone die over years and then come back and talk to me …………………………”

Leaves you with a WTF? feeling doesn’t it? Kind of makes you wonder if they’re allowing the lunatics in the Psych Ward access to the internet doesn’t it.

Recovering from a Random Fluffing isn’t always easy, I think it took a good day for the sheer shock value to wear off completely. So, watch out, they’re hiding in the bushes, just waiting for a normal conversation to take place, worse than sparkle-pires…

PSA’s and Vocabulary Words

Today’s vocabulary word is brought to you by the letter P.

Republipagan (N)

He knows what we need, and is going to make sure we get it regardless of our personal wishes.

We’d like to thank BandedNagini for coming up with it.

The I’m not smart enough to understand Satire Fluff

Something funny I ran across today, page on fb called Burning Witches at the Stake

Small sample of what is posted on the information page,

Founded: App. 1480 A.D.

Company Overview: Witches are a pain, so, to remove this pain, we must burn these heathens at the stake! We shall be as a city upon a hill…that burns the whores of Satan!!!

Mission: Destroy all witches, which endanger the lives of we Puritans, and our kin. Here are some ways to determine if one is indeed a witch.

She insists on driving the wagon,or in these times, car

She does not enjoy cleaning, making meals, and bearing children

She is promiscuous

The list goes on and on. What I find particularly funny, is that by the time you reach the end of the list, it includes just about every woman on earth. Here’s the thing, it’s satire, it’s a freaking joke.

What I don’t understand is, the sheer number of people freaking out, and threatening to report the page as some kind of hate speech. It’s ridiculous, in a world where half the fluff actually think that there was a Burning Times epidemic, and that millions upon millions of poor, unsuspecting Pagans and witches, were burned at the stake.

Quite simply, this leads me to want to support a ‘Burning Times’ reenactment, complete with actual flufftards to throw into the pit of fire. Please, for the sake of all of us, and my sanity, pull your heads out of your asses, stop whining, and get over your persecution complex.

So, What is People for the Un-Ethical Treatment of Asshats?

Welcome to People for the Un-Ethical Treatment of Asshats!

Our mission here is to highlight all the fun, fluffy little fucktards and asshats that we come across on a daily basis. You know, the willfully ignorant, those who make outrageous claims, who base their practice off of things they’ve seen on TV, in movies, and garnered from the ever popular Llewellyn books.

Those who refuse to see a difference between fact and UPG (Unverified Personal Gnosis).

The Pretendians who will tell you a story, share some info, and then when questioned about it, will turn around and tell you, ‘Oh, I can’t answer that question, it’s oath bound information.”

Other fun names and terminology for the willfully ignorant include, Fluff Bunny, playgan, McWiccan, Glenda the Glitterwitch, Blingers (All trinkets and no substance), IRAB – I read a Book, Wiki-pagans, Twatwaffles, Flufftards, and Wantanabee’s. This list is just a small sampling of some of the terms I’ve run across, I’m sure you’ve heard some others.

This blog is a place where we will showcase the fluff in all their flufftastic glory, make fun of them, roast them over the fire of sarcasm and satire. We hope that in time, you will share your own stories and terms for the almighty fluff.

So please, make yourself comfortable, grab a drink and some popcorn, and enjoy the woefully ignorant as they get bashed and thrashed for your amusement.