NSFW, Epicly Gross Douchery

For the love of all that is holey, wait, holey isn’t really always a good thing, as I’m sure you already know. If not, chances are, you’re about to find out.

This was found on FB today, something that some douchebag felt the need to share with his friends, as well as everyone else. I’ll let it speak for itself.


Take a moment to notice the caption that was kindly included for all of the unsuspecting.

Now, if you haven’t already run screaming from the room, and if you haven’t yet pulled your eyeballs out of their sockets, I suppose it’s time to rip into this idiot.

You are a nasty ass douche bag. It’s not amazing that there is a smiley face that randomly appeared in your nasty chonies, the fact of the matter is, you need to wash your ass. Clean yourself better, if you weren’t spending all your time digging at your asshole through that cotton barrier, there wouldn’t be holes forming.

You’re disgusting. You are a freak of nature. I really really wish that I could post your name in this blog, so that the whole world would know just how nasty you are. Fortunately for you… I can’t share your name. I just hope that the people on your friends list who got to see this picture, run away screaming and perhaps someone will instruct you on the proper procedure for wiping/cleaning your nasty asshole!


More of the Assclown

Well, at the end of the last blog, I promised that there would be more from the Assclown, a.k.a. the “Would Be Playgan Author.” You see, she ended up demanding to know where the ‘Admin/Moderator’ of the page was, so I sent her a message to see if I could find out what the issue was.

Lala: “I saw that you wanted to address one of the admins from the PaganMystics page. Was there something I could do for you?”

Would Be Playgan Author: “No thank you Lala. I have left the page. I was trying to point out that the confrontational tone of Arokk made me feel like I didn’t want to engage in discussions where I might have had something valid to offer. There were several topics where I felt I could have added something to the discussion but didn’t becasue of his acrid manner and lack of basic interpersonal communication skills. It appears that my approach was faulty and I pissed off a number of people. I apologize for creating drama on your page. I am on line for fun and information, that’s all. I’m sorry.”

Ok, she’s clearly feeling butthurt at this point, so I try to smooth things over, while trying to make it clear that we ‘lightly moderate’ discussions.

Lala: “No need to apologize. You didn’t hurt anyone by sharing an opinion on the matter. I’m sorry that you felt the need to leave the page. I wanted to take a moment to point out, that, short of slamming people based on Race, Sexual Orientation, etc. Myself and the other admin do not moderate the conversations. I don’t want to stifle anyone’s opinion on anything. I do apologize if you were uncomfortable on our page, and I hope you all the best.”

Would Be Playgan Author: “By not moderating and not demanding a higher standard of polite discourse you have in fact stifled my opinion and that of several of my friends who are on your page. I believe that we may have very valid insights to offer on a page such as yours. Please consider possibly modifying your stance on standards of behavior if you want everyone to feel comfortable on your page even if they are not the loudest and most rude. I am not interested in arguing with this Arokk considering he is not even Wiccan and insists on being ‘right’ about things he has no clue about. He has ruined YOUR page for a decent number of educated and informed people. But at this point it doesn’t matter. I have bigger fish to fry than the likes of him. It’s people like that who give us all a bad name…Just sayin’. It’s your page. Your standards are your standards and I am in no position to criticize them. I have apologized for creating drama. I had hoped that calling him on his poor behavior would quite him a little but instead it focused his venom on me. I don’t want it focused on me so I left as will others I am sure. Give peace a chance you might get more of what you created the page for. Just my two cents. Thank you for your time. I enjoyed a lot of what I saw on your page. Best of luck to you and your group.”

Lol! Now, I’m sure those of you reading along can make up your own mind about her self righteous attitude, and the fact that she knows better than I do how to moderate the page. Yes, we do lose people, though, for everyone that we lose, we gain 5 more. I’d say that’s a pretty good average. To date we have over 4,780 people on the page. (But, I have no clue what I’m doing.)

Jasmine and the Assclown

Here’s the gist of the story really quick, we were engaged in a discussion over on the FB page. I’m not really sure what the topic was, but, there was fluff flying around, limbs and fur everywhere.

General consensus of those who wandered into the thread during the heat of battle was that ‘You get more flies with honey.” Personally, I don’t think any of us really cared. Well, in walks a self righteous pagan wannabee author, who felt the need to tell us all about her extensive research, her credentials, and then the uber special tag line at the end that she was in the middle of writing a manuscript that would become published in the not too distant future.

The always lovely Jamine, of The Spiritual Mother happened to be there, and she felt the need to respond to the would-be-author in thread about how she’d more than likely never read the book, based on the author’s demeanor in the thread. Well, ‘Lil Miss I’m Gonna Write a Book’ decided to leave the thread in a huff, but, not before sending a message to Jasmine.

I have that letter…

‘Would Be Playgan Author’:
“Wow. I am sorry to hear you won’t read my book because I suggested civility in debate in a public forum. BTW That commentary was not my first on that page. Feel free to check. It was just the first one to suggest that people treat each other better. I believe as Pagans we are one. There are plenty of people in the world who will line up to tell you how much you suck or how you are not good enough. I believe that it is our responsibility to hold each other to a higher standard and thus lift us all up. That’s what I was trying to do. I listed my “resume” because there was a discussion the night before on speaking with authority on a subject. I felt like I had to list those things before I would be heard by Arokk. My mistake. I have left the page and since your comment have removed my comments from that entire thread. I apologize if you were offended.”

Oh, and I also have the message that Jamine sent back in response.

Jasmine: “The reasons I will not be reading your books is as follows:

  • I studied my bachelors in Cultural Anthropology. I do not claim to be an expert by any means, but I do know that a sampling of 400 is not enough to base a conclusion to a social study that tries to encompass a group with such variety as neo-pagans. 4000 would be a start… 40,000 would be better.
  • You claim that the book is about ethics in the neo-pagan setting but you completely disregarded his opinion as invalid and judged him to be lesser. That means your research is biased towards your opinion and therefore your sampling of pagans will also be biased as will your conclusion. I would rather read about a study that was completely neutral and did not have the authors beliefs tied to the conclusion and findings.
  • You never even listened to what Arokk had to say and judged him harshly before he even said anything in the thread.. which by the way.. he never said anything that was unfriendly in the entire conversation at hand. Your behavior was flat out rude to him, regardless if you agree with his opinion or not, and then you played the “civility in debate in a public forum” card… dear pot, you and the kettle are both black, please take note of this. If you judge a person in this fashion in a forum, you will judge people in the research for your book and I have no interest in financially supporting this type of behavior.
  • Deleting your comments from that thread proves one thing to me.. you don’t want people to see how you treated someone and behaved to negatively impact the sales of your book.

Now, as far as I know, Jasmine never did get any other messages, however, I got a message or two that would fall into the complaints dept. Which means, I guess there will have to be another blog. Oh! something for us all to look forward to!

Blogs, Discussions, and more pagans who don’t get satire.

So, a blog that I found rather hysterical and funny, called A Pseudo-Scientific Classification of the Fluffy Bunny seems to have been picked up and discussed over on PaganSpace, here. Now, it’s my opinion that we have yet another case of people, or fluff, who don’t quite understand satire.

I realize that this concept might be too damned difficult for the modern fucktard to understand, therefore, before we go any further, I’d like to supply a quick definition.

Satire: (Noun)

1. The use of humor, irony, exaggeration, or ridicule to expose and criticize people’s stupidity or vices, particularly in the context of contemporary politics and other topical issues.

So, now on to highlighting some of the responses that this blog got in the PaganSpace discussion.

Crock Pagan: To me this is the pot calling the kettle black because I’ve seen one to many pagans who indulge in their fantasy of what witches are that are not from works of fiction in pop culture but literature on supposed witches. Wicca itself is bathed in Romanticism. This is probably more harmful and delusional than the author’s assertions of the obvious. These people are taking from works of fiction, but its not hollywood.

I don’t see anything wrong with psycho drama or using fiction. However, a fluffy bunny to me is a person stuck in the Romanticism, believer of pseudo-science/history, thinks Wicca is “ancient” or something similar, and basically believes every “white lie” popular authors use. (Matriarchy, all goddesses are three fold or moon and so forth.) They also tend to refuse to learn or be corrected. These people that I’ve seen are not newbies to paganism either. They usually are science deniers.

Former Fluffwad: As a former fluffwad (love the term!) I think Vagabond need to get their fluff on and STFU.

That was just a sampling of the comments. What really makes me giggle, to tears really. Someone was so inflamed at the original blog, that they felt the need to write their own blog about Fluffy Bunnies. It can be found, here.

Excerpt from blog:

It’s not a term I use often but it is a term I have been called recently and I’ve seen a few people use it. I’ve been trying to figure out why we would have this term. For the more New Age people I’d just say “white lighters” and though some of them have funny beliefs, they seem to be ok people. Like I said some of their beliefs I disagree with and I will not cater to their Romantic fantasies, but they’re usually pretty harmless.

So what I really think the whole thing boils down to, someone’s been called fluffy on more than one occasion. Now, they feel the need to get their panties twisted whenever they see someone post about it, and, it gets their goat enough, to feel the need to blog. Oh well, I say, at least the blog, that was meant to be ‘satire’ inspired someone to do something…. even if that something was to just whine.

That’s it for this one. Again, I welcome you all to send me a story or a vocabulary term for all the times you’ve ever played with the fluffy, the bunnies, and the asshats.

Pikachu, I choose you!

So, last night we decided to discuss’Totem Animals.’ Yeah, I realize it’s a topic that can get really flufftastic in less than 5 minutes. Here’s the funniest response to the thread.

Fluffalupagus: I have over 50+ totempower animals at 5-6 level of spiritual significance. I have 10 totem animals I work most often. Top 2 are Andean Condor and the Rising Phoenix. The Condor was my first, discovered its power thru shamanic journey. The rest have come to me in direct spiritual vision or awakening for particular purpose.

(Say what?!) I’m not the only one confused now.

Seeker:  I can’t help myself. Fluffalupagus, how do you figure spiritual significance?How much time did it take to get 50+ to flock to you? Do you have a day job or trust fund? Is your computer fuzzy with all that power around?

Fluffalupagus: In the world of spirit all possibility can exist, in my experiences of past and present encounters / visions / communications came about for levels of intention. I classified those degrees of intention into levels of spiritual significance…

PaganMike:  ‎@Fluffalupagus-Do you keep them in a little round ball??

PaganMikes remark litterally had me roflmfao! I’m not the only one who has to be mean sometimes. It makes me smile when others get involved in the question asking to the fluff-tarded.

The Nansy Pansy Pagan Male

We’re commonly known as a site and FB page that will cover topics of discussions that other groups run screaming away from. I think that’s a good thing. It’s something that sets us apart from everyone else. We’re also probably a whole lot more opinionated than most other forums. Yesterday, we decided that we wanted to have a discussion about the Death Penalty.

Yeah, I know it’s a rather hot topic for just about everyone, but we wanted to know if Pagans would be more apt to be against it based on religious beliefs. It turns out, most people are against it, many didn’t really have answers, and our Core group is fairly open to the idea of using the death penalty as a just punishment for the more violent type of offender.

Enter in Pansy Ass Pagan Male:

Nansy Pansy Pagan: “I have to say this whole discussion has really been an eye opener for me. Here I thought Christians cornered the market on bloodthirsty self-righteousness. Is this really the best we can do? More power of the state over the individual. More decisions based on our fears and not our hopes. More willingness to condemn instead of heal. I am a little ashamed of being a pagan right now.”

“I guess to clarify, I do not believe in organized violence. Not by the state, a religion, or a “cause”. I do believe in personal violence. Just like repressing the sexual urge creates all sorts of problems, repressing the urge to perpetrate violence does the same thing. Maybe the world would be a better place if people just accepted that every once in a while, someone’s going to get clobbered. I still doubt it would be necessary to use enough force to kill in almost any circumstance.”

Yeah… Ok….. So, I had to ask him ” you’re ok with randomly beating the hell out of people but if the state wants to kill people who have been convicted of violent crimes, it’s not ok? How does that make any sense?”

Nansy Pansy Pagan: “It makes perfect sense. We are individuals, and animals. We have urges and drives, including violence. We ignore them at our peril. In fact, I believe that it is when we ignore these drives, when they are institutionalized they can be twisted to the point where humans are capable of war and genocide.”
Now Wait…. We have urges and drives, if we suppress these urges, we’re going to become twisted and it leads to war and genocide? I’m a little creeped out now… This sounds like a very half-baked and disturbing theory. When questioned on which urges are ok to act on, For example the urges that Sexual Predators, Rapists, Pedophiles and Serial Killers have, he back pedaled and said that we need to keep them incarcerated until we find a better way to rehabilitate them. (I find this idea to be a waste of perfectly good taxpayer money that could be used for other things. )
Other’s expressed an opinion similar to my own, even going so far as to call for ‘An Eye for An Eye’
Again, Nansy Pansy Pagan had to respond. “Wow, an eye for an eye, really? Do you really think at all about what you are saying. You want that? That’s the best we can do? “An eye for an eye only makes the whole world blind” – MKG”
From this point on in the discussion, when questioned, Nansy Pansy Pagan decided to hide behind MKG Quotes and his theory about Urges. Quite frankly, I think the guy is a bit freakish, seriously twisted, and possibly a, well… who knows really. You can all fill in the blanks on that one.

All in all, it’s been an UBER FUN DAY! This guy is full of CARP!

Out of this world Fluff

Jasmine pointed this article out to me and suggested that I call it ‘the im so far out of reality that I should be hospitalized fluff”

A self-proclaimed witch who says she is not subject to earthly laws has “declined” a jail sentence for seriously injuring a policeman.

Eilish De’Avalon was stopped by police. She told the Constable,“your laws and penalties don’t apply to me” then she drove away, with the constable hanging on for dear life.

Looks like she tried throwing some crazy at the Judge as well, but he wasn’t buying it. He told her, “You decline my offer? I’m afraid it’s not negotiable.”


Wonder what new level of crazy will jump out at us tomorrow?

Pissy Pagans – letters from the complaint dept.

I remember when I found my first ‘Pagan-centric’ group. It was located over in the world of ‘Myspazz’. Let me tell you, even though the groups were over run with fluff, they would all argue with conviction. They rarely gave up on a topic, and even if they did, they stayed in the group, and came back for new discussion topics.

Since I left Myspazz, I’ve grown aware of the ‘Pissy Pagans.’ These are the pagans that get really upset and butthurt, and run away from the discussion. Usually deleting their responses to the thread (this makes me insane) and then sending a message complaining about how they were ‘treated badly’ or ‘persecuted’, etc.

The major issue that I have with this type of fluff, is that it happens on an almost daily basis. Instead of bowing out of the conversation, they have to take their ball and go home, and then message the admin (me) and whine about it. Here’s a letter that I received not too long ago.


I have decided to drop out of the pagan facebook site

You probably don’t care but I have never been treated so rudely I people that don’t even know me in quite a while
I was basically just shouted down and told to go shit in my own sandbox by someone with the last name of nelson. I know big deal right
Normally I don’t take these things personally
However I was not the only person being treated like an idiot
Another woman named mandy was also shouted down. She dropped out

I have enjoyed your site until now
I agree that the discussion about otherkin was rather dumb
However I had something to say
I wasnt even saying what I thought I was telling a story about my grandfather and about my daughter when she was a child
I am pagan. I have been practicing for over 20 years. I am not a stupid fluffy bunny or anything of the sort. I found the arrogance of some of the people on the site really beyond reason
Just thought I’d let you know why I’m not going to add my 2 cents in any more

Glenda the Glitterwitch


So yeah. Always SO MUCH FUN!

Fluff say the darndest things

I’m thinking this could end up being one really EPIC LIST, but for now, I’m starting off with one story of the insanity that comes out of the mouths of fluff.

We also have modern reclamation by witches, almost intuitively of Friday the 13th and black cats as positive symbols for the witch.

It’s interesting how much of culture is created around identifying oneself as contrary to an existing element and the conflicts that ensue. I think much of Christianity defining itself by being anti-pagan, and a lot of Paganism defining itself by being anti-Christian in turn. Of course this is just one element at play among others I think.
-Anon Flufftard

OMG! Seriously? WTF?

I think it’s a safe bet that you can find something wrong with this statement. Even a few somethings. Maybe you’re sitting there right now with the same blank stare that I had when reading it for the first few times. (It’s true, you have to read it repeatedly to make sure that you’re really just not imagining the WTF-osity of it all.

Finally, when I determined that my brain was still intact, and not leaking out of my ear, I decided to question the poster about what exactly they were trying to convey with their article. What follows are excerpts from that response.

– I prefer to less academic and less technical endevours. Keeping it simple, and leaving lots out in hopes to encourage partication from others.

– This was meant to be a simple fun article to encourage dialogue and people to share their own esoteric knowledge.

– I prefer to appeal to the fluffy pagans and be more inclusive in the scope of my discourse. I’m afraid I don’t value the ‘knowledge’ over the entertainment factor, and the fun of reading something, looking at pretty pictures, and having something that makes one think, and maybe research further if one is more inclined. Those are just my own values at play. Knowledge is often suspect and fleeting, where joy always feeds the soul.

– I think it’s important not to under-estimate the value of pop culture and media on spirituality and tradition. People will carve new traditions, symbols, beliefs and rituals based on buffy the vampire slayer lore, twilight scripts, and Harry Potter… etc.

(Take a moment to pause while the readers of this blog make sure that their brains have not yet melted.)

Have you seen Adam Sandler’s movie, ‘Billy Madison’? Remember the scene when he’s in the bathtub?

Billy Madison: Shampoo is better. I go on first and clean the hair. Conditioner is better. I leave the hair silky and smooth. Oh, really, fool? Really.

This is the voice that I hear when I read those comments that our flufftastic member wrote, it ends up sounding like this to me….

‘Knowledge is bad, it makes too many people think and cite source material, Fun whimisical things are better, they make me think of unicorns and sparkles and Buffy The Vampire Playgan!’

I really do think it’s time for me to be a lil more like the man who decided to stand upon his soapbox and call this blog carp. The only difference, is, I think I need an actual fish, then I can smack people across the face with it, and scream, ‘No, This is Carp!’

How many times do I have to ban you?

Not sure how many of you out there are running your own websites, or even acting as moderators for groups, but if you do, I’m sure you know that occasionally you have to ban someone. No, it’s not always fun, but you try to keep the balance and occasionally someone just breaks too many of the rules, and they need to be shown to the door.
What follows in the message from an Ex-Member of a site that I am the co-creator. I suppose I should also add, he’s been banned on multiple times, and from various accounts, but he keeps coming back.

Hi I was wondering if I could come back as a member ‘the real me’ I’m J. Assclown Fucktard-Onassis you banned me a few years ago. The login email I used was assclown420@aol.com. Wanted to say sorry for what made you ban me. I had a lot of fun here with everything. Anyway hope You, The Druid, and the kids are doing great.

Love and Light, The Assclown

(Yeah, we had to change the idiots personal information)

Now, I’ll share the response that was sent to him.

First off, I wanted to inform you of the fact that I am sending a copy of this dialog to one of the other admins as well so that there is no way that what I am saying can be misconstrued, or twisted in anyway, shape, or form.I have to say, that I am flabbergasted as to why, you would message myself, or any other member of the administration team, to inform us of your being a member here.

Not only that, but, you have been banned from this site, on more than one occasion. To ask for a second chance is one thing. To ask for a 5th, or 6th, not only unreasonable, but also very, very stupid.

If you wanted to continue to be a member here, even under a false identity, you should have kept your mouth shut, and not called attention to yourself.

Your apology is not one that I care to accept.

As for your membership here, it ends now.

I hope you find a community that is more suitable to your tastes and liking. We’ve had enough of you and your lying here.

Now, it still doesn’t really make sense to me. If you were banned, multiple times from a site, and managed to creep back in, if you really like it there… WHY CALL ATTENTION TO YOURSELF?
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