People for the Un-Ethical Treatment of Asshats

It has been brought to my attention that there is another tradition of Wicca out there that many of us might not have known much about, or have likely never heard of. It’s called Ghetto Wicca, and it’s alive and well over on the good ol’ FB.

Ghetto Wiccans can be spotted by there un-researched, not really thought out posts and their attention seeking by posting to groups with ‘I have a question about something I’m not sure of, will someone pm me about it’ posts. These posts are to garner attention, and at the same time, hide the fact that they don’t want to be publicly mocked or criticized for their lack of planning, or general understanding of the spells they’ve decided to undertake.

It shouldn’t come as much of a surprise that this group of people also glean their teaching and spell work from places like Google, Wikipedia and of course, Witchipedia.  One should point out that these are not the ideal places from which to borrow spells, but another identifier of this type of practitioner is the fact that they can’t even understand the written instructions that inevitably come with the spells that they borrow from these places.

Here is an example of the type of exchange that you can come to expect from these Ghetto Wiccans in groups that you might frequent.

Dippy Rain: if a spell says you should Put the package under the bed you sleep in at night for the next 7 days and then burn when should you burn it,,after the 7th night or ON the 7th night..TY

Shae:  I would burn it on the morning of the 8th day(personal opinion)…I go full 7 days if that is what my working called for

Dippy Rain: thn looks like i got 2 busy mornings ahead of me..also..if I am going to be out of my house 2morro night do i take working with me?

Shae: Hon IDK what you working on or why..and don’t want to know really. My personal thought is to not haul a working around with me all over the place..leave it under your bed until its finished doing what you need it to do. I do what has to be done then give it no thought until I have to finish.

Lala:  why did you pick a time when you wouldn’t be home for a few of the days?

Lala:   This is a case of idiot-titus when planning for a working. You want to do them when you know you will be home for the duration of the working.

Shae:  if a working has set time limit, then one should be prepared to give it full attention for that time, otherwise, leave it til you do

Dippy Rain it wasnt originally planned that way when i began it.. the morning of the 8th day is sunday..

Shae: christmas day..better get up before the house

Shae: am assuming you dont wish others to be in on your removal

Lala: My suggestion, start over. You haven’t given it the full attention it deserves, moving it around and not being there for it, etc. =poor planning, and not understanding the instructions involved may indicate that this is not something you’re ready to under take

Dippy Rain i was goin to burn one 2night & the other in the am.. thtats y i asked 2b sure

Shae: since obviously we dont know what you are doing, and apparently you arent sure either..might I suggest you go back to whomever told you to do the working and get clearer instructions

Dippy Rain: and i am onlly goin to be gone over night

Lala: As well as some clarity on the why’s and hows.

Lala: It doesnt’ matter if you’re only gone one night/day. It throws the whole thing out of balance. But, of course you’re not realizing that possibility, so I say fuck it, burn it now.

Dippy Rain: its a break up spell..could it be burned sun night upon my rreturn?

Lala: ROFLMFAO

Shae: break up spell? You need a spell to break up?

Lala: Lawd almighty, someone help me, I can’t breathe

Shae: You can’t just get in their face and say”hey you..it’s over..done…been real, but I’m outta here”? you know..like an adult?

Dippy Rain: not for me circumstances very difficult..

Lala: Fuck me running, I thought we were just dealing with the inability to follow instructions, now, I realize that we’re dealing with a Sped.

Lala:  How Old are you? Are you even old enough to be in this group?

Shae:  circumstances “difficult”…noooo..most break ups usually are…But as an adult, I much prefer to work in a more mundane world and just tell them it’s over
Lala: It’s simple. “Hey, You, Kick Rocks”

Dippy Rain: TY for your time… I am 33 asked for clarity ; get a bunch of JERKS GET REAL.. AGAIN TY FOR UR TIME.. DUECES NINJAS

Lala:  So, does Dueces Ninjas mean we rock? We can live with that

Lala: If you’re a grown ass woman, why would you be unable to take care of a break up in a mundane, grown ass woman fashion?

And, also, did you bump your head and get lost? This aint your typical fluffy group, we Get real here, we keep it real, we expect people to be adult

Shae: clarification should have been obtained by whomever gave you this “break up spell”…banishings are not to be undertaken lightly nor done on a whim especially by those who have no intimate knowledge of the said working…We cannot guide someone who has no such knowledge nor should you ask for us to..Go back to whoever gave you this idea that its workable

(At this point, a very special bird explains to us that ‘Dueces ninja’s = ghetto fabulous with little to no actual knowledge of spellwork.’ )

Dippy Rain: lol it means l8r but i guess that yall do rock.. no1 gave it was GOOGLED..nextly I am ghetto I am also a Lette I am also Wiccan I am also a bitch I am also me. NONE of you were born with your knowledge you read you asked questions as this is the same bloody thing I am doin so sue me

Lala: Google – the place to get your spells from. Yep…. that sounds like a great idea

Dippy Rain: as for EPIC no just a bunch of individuals that I CHOSE to inquire to about sumthing that I was UNSURE of.. so here is another anagram for you all:FTFO

Lala: PUTA FTW!

The thread does go on a bit further, but ‘Dippy’ just continues to show her ass at this point, not really hearing or understanding what has been said to her, of course, it shouldn’t really surprise us, as we’ve already come to understand that she doesn’t have the capacity, much less the capability to understand English, or the written word.